I Hate Fantasy Sports! Judge of Probate Election, South Windsor P&Z Meeting

Good morning, South Windsor! Today is Tuesday, Aug. 21, 2012; there are 132 days left in the year.

I have an English Premier League Fantasy Team. If this changes anything between us, I don’t blame you. Actually, after reading that first sentence, I tried to break up with myself, only to fail miserably, as I kept following myself around constantly such that I filed a police complaint for stalking, only to be taken to a hospital for evaluation.

Such is my life.

Anyhoo, after just one week of competition (generally, English football clubs play one league game a week, for 38 weeks. And you thought the NFL season was interminable), I realized why I hate fantasy sports so much and pretty much gave them up until recently.

You see, Chelsea are my favourite (a shout out to the British spelling!) club, and I root fiercely for them. Except when I’m not. Chelsea’s main rivals for the league title this year are Manchester City and Manchester United (an odd name for the club, as it’s clear that Manchester is divided between those two sides, but I digress). I should be rooting mightily for both of those clubs to lose. Actually, I can’t stand the Mancs. Only I have players on both City and United on my fantasy team.

Actually, my defense comprises mostly United and City players and the only way to get points really from fantasy defenders, since they rarely score, is if the teams the defenders play against in real life don’t score. If a team playing against City or United don’t score, then, obviously, they can’t win, thereby enhancing Chelsea’s ability to win the league title.

But Ted, you may say, why don’t you just not take Manchester players. Good point. Why don’t you just mind your own business? Get your own column if you’re so smart.

Which brings me back to why I hate fantasy sports. I would rather my favourite (British shout out!) side win in real life, but I also can’t take hearing my brother smacking me down (he’s in both the fantasy leagues in which I partake) for my inept fantasy selections.

I have become the very thing I despise. A fantasy nerd or a reality tool. Take your pick.

Oh, and incidentally, I got off to a horrendous start in my fantasy league. Serves me right.

Sigh.

Here’s your Daily 5:

1. The polls are open today from 6 a.m. to 8 p.m for the judge of probate race, which pits four candidates from South Windsor against one another. Click here for polling information.

2. The South Windsor Planning & Zoning Commission meets tonight at 7:30 p.m. at Town Hall.

3. The South Windsor Chamber of Commerce Board of Directors meets today at 8 a.m. at 22 Morgan Drive.

4. Visit, 127 West Rd. (Rte. 83), in Ellington today from 5 p.m. until closing, as there will be a fundraiser to help raise money for the 2012 CT Down Syndrome Congress (CDSC) Buddy Walk. A portion of the funds will be donated to Team Super Sage.

5. A free reception open to the public will be held today to kick off Hartford’s 2012 Making Strides Against Breast Cancer campaign.